Manhattan Melodies
by mabelreid
Summary: A series of one shot song fics dealing with different pairings in the show, some cannon perhaps and some not. Some maybe very AU as well.
1. Urgent

_A/n hey all, this is the beginning chapter of a series of song fics for different pairing in the show. Some might be sort of cannon, while others are the result of a song I've heard that inspires the muse. _

_Disclaimer: See the new one in my profile._

_Warning: See the new warning in my profile. Most of these will contain adult content and language, hence the rating._

_**Urgent **_

_You're not shy, you get aroundYou wanna fly, don't want your feet on the groundYou stay up, you won't come downYou wanna live, you wanna move to the soundGot fire in your veinsBurnin' hot but you don't feel the painYour desire is insaneYou can't stop until you do it again_

_Foreigner_

He squinted against the rays of the sun on his face. The window was in the wrong position that morning. It should have been behind him and much lower in the sky. What the hell had happened? His head reeled, and his stomach tried to leap out of his throat when he managed to get both eyes open.

He tried to raise his hands and cover his eyes as they were beginning to sting and tear. His arms were trapped in some material. He floundered, around feeling very much like a landed trout before he was able to extract one arm.

He yanked and pulled at the sheet till he laid gasping and heaving. "Okay Donald… Use your brain and stop flipping around like a trapped seal."

He looked to his left and saw his dresser, with one drawer slightly ajar. Oh… that was the drawer that held what his mother like to call prophylactics. She would blush at the word "rubber or condom" and it made his father laugh. Flack supposed that as she was a good Catholic girl, birth control was a bit of an embarrassment to talk about. Even after forty years of marriage to Donald Flack Sr.

Wait… his aching head said. That must mean you got lucky last night. He shifted, rolled and promptly fell out of bed. Admittedly, he was used to getting it regular now that he and Bonasera had come to an agreement, but ending up with his head pointed toward the foot of the bed and then falling out of it was a new experience for him.

He climbed to his feet and saw what he'd feared. She was gone again. God Damn it… "Fuck…" He yelled to the empty apartment.

Why couldn't she stay just once for breakfast? He had this fantasy of taking her on the dining room table and… Okay… so he really wanted her to stay and just eat with him. He wanted to know what her favorite kind of juice was. Did she drink juice in the morning, or just coffee? Did she like pancakes, or was she a bagel woman? Did she like her eggs fried or scrambled?

He picked up his robe and went to the shower. That was something else. She'd used his shower before and wouldn't let him anywhere near the bathroom while she was in there. She said that sex and showers don't mix. Whatever that meant!

"Fuck," He shouted at his reflection. He reached over and turned on the water in the shower.

His eyes were bloodshot and his hair stood up in untidy corkscrews around his face. At least he didn't have a hangover on top of sleeping off Stella Bonasera. How in the hell had he gotten to be her boy toy? He was used to being the one that pulled away emotionally from women, hence his empty life. Only relationships with gorgeous and spoiled debutantes were allowed in his world

He stepped into the hot water and listened to his brain outline the facts of life for him. His life was empty of real relationships because he'd been nursing a crush on Stella for years. Then she'd actually hit the sheets with him and it was like heaven. Then the next morning came and everything changed. He put his hands against the tile of the shower and remembered the first time she'd called him late at night for comfort.

_But sometimes I wonder as I look in your eyesMaybe you're thinking of some other guyBut I know, yes I know, how to treat you rightThat's why you call me in the middle of the nightYou say it's urgentSo urgent, so oh oh urgentJust wait and seeHow urgent my love can beIt's urgent_

It was a week after her apartment was destroyed in a fire. She'd appeared on his door step at midnight, waking him from a deep sleep

"_Jesus Christ Stella, do you know what time it is."_

"_I'm sorry Don… I just needed." She lifted her hands and let them fall to her sides in helpless surrender. _

"_Come in… I'll get you -" _

_He'd shut the door and she'd been on him before he could say anything. He vaguely remembered trying to protest and say that this wasn't right, that she would hate him in the morning. She had told him sternly to shut up and fuck her. _

_He'd tried to slow her down and take things slowly, but she wouldn't have any of it. He remembered_ _her taking his hands and pushing them up under the plaid shirt she wore, and how the lace of her bra drove him wild. _

_He didn't remember how his tee shirt had ended up on the floor, or how her jeans had ended up hanging from the floor lamp next to the door. He did remember the way her tongue had dipped and teased him till his brain's higher functions had ceased. Her hands found their way into the sweat pants he'd worn to bed and found his rock hard erection. She had stroked and squeezed him till he had to pull her hands away or go off like a rocket in his pants. _

"_Stella… "_

"_I told you to shut up Flack…" _

_Since his last attempt at reason had fallen on deaf ears, he pushed her to the couch, spun her around and bent her over the back of furniture. God… How his calf and hamstring muscles had protested at this activity, but he ignored the pain the next morning. _

_He lost what was left of his self control and had rammed into her with as much finesse as a teenager breaking his first cherry. He'd heard her cries over his loud breathing. Her name mixed with expletives that would have made a sailor blush burst out of his mouth with each trust. He sort of remembered the way she'd screamed his name with her orgasm. He definitely remembered his own release, like warm champagne from a shaken bottle, and how he'd screamed her name and that he loved her. _

_The next morning she was gone before he awoke. She'd left a note, just like he'd left notes for other women. It was strange how it felt to be on the other side for a change. He decided that he didn't like it at all. He'd tried to apologize to her later at work for his roughness with her. She'd just smiled and said it was nice not to be treated like china for a change. Otherwise, she wouldn't talk about it at all. They didn't date. They just had sex in every conceivable position and place you could think of. _

_Once… when stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge he'd tried to talk to her about it. She'd gotten angrier than he'd ever seen. _

"_I thought guys liked relationships without strings. I wouldn't have thought you to be the sentimental type Flack."_

"_I don't like ta be used Bonasera."_

"_I'm not using you. We're two healthy adults engaging in mutually consensual sexual activities. Our jobs are tough Don. I need the stress relief."_

"_Is that all I am to ya," He knew the answer, but wanted to hear it. _

"_I can't give you what you want." She insisted. _

"_Why… because Frankie Mala tried to kill ya, because ya had ta kill him, because Drew Bedford used ya ta get ta Mac -" _

_His tirade had been cut off by her hand reaching over to the driver's side and slapping him as hard as she could._

"_You're a complete bastard Donald Flack!"_

"_No… I'm tellin' ya the truth and ya can't handle it. I just want the chance to love ya like you deserve. Why can't ya let me?'_

_She was silent for a long time and he'd looked over to see tears rolling down her face. He'd tried to apologize, but she'd ignored him till they had got to the crime scene._

_You play tricks on my mindYou're everywhere but you're so hard to findYou're not warm or sentimentalYou're so extreme, you can be so temperamentalBut I'm not looking for a love that will lastI know what I need and I need it fastYeah, there's one thing in common that we both shareThat's a need for each other anytime, anywhere_

_They had worked together well that day, and were exceedingly polite to each other for the rest of the day. He remembered making a promise to himself that he would end it. The next time she called him or pulled him into the supply closet at work he'd tell her it was over. He had his dignity and his pride after all. _

_It gets so urgentSo urgentYou know it's urgentI wanna tell you it's the same for meSo oh oh urgentJust you wait and seeHow urgent our love can beIt's urgent_

_Of course, she'd showed up at this apartment that night. Her eyes were red from crying and the part of him that had always loved her let her in the door. She hadn't talked except to say that she was sorry for slapping him and that he'd been right to say what he'd said to her. _

'"_I don't know what is the matter with me. I just can't stop feeling numb all the time."_

_Of course he'd taken her into his arms and held her tight while she cried. The smell of her hair had stoked the fire in his belly, even though he didn't want this to end with sex… Again! He stroked her back and felt the wetness of his tears mix with hers. She didn't look up at his face or see the pain in his eyes. He didn't know what to say or do. Of course, the next morning she was gone again, leaving another note and more memories of what he called lovemaking and she called "stress relief."_

When the water of the shower turned cold he shut it off and got out to towel off. He looked in the mirror again and saw the despair in his eyes. This was never going to end until he ended it once and for all.

He dressed in a dark blue suit and one of his garish ties she loved to tease him about. He would do it today. He would make the cut no matter how much it hurt. He would start his life over! This time would be different.

_You say it's urgentMake it fast, make it urgentDo it quick, do it urgentGotta rush, make it urgentWant it quickUrgent, urgent, emergencyIt's urgent_


	2. I like the way he makes me feel

_A/n hey all… I'm sorry for the long wait for this. The muse refused to cooperate for awhile. I think she's back of track now. Thanks to all who have reviewed or added this to their alerts. _

_Disclaimer: Please see my profile_

_**I like the way he makes me feel**_

_**Barbara Streisand**_

_There's no chill and yet I shiver._

_There's no flame and yet I burn._

_I'm not sure what I'm afraid of and yet I'm trembling. _

"Don… Where is he? Is he alright, Hawkes…"

"He's fine… A little water logged, but he'll be okay."

_Oh thank God… I don't know what I would have done if he…_

"Hey… You okay," Sheldon asked her.

"Yeah… I'm fine. I'm just going to go kick Don's ass for pulling that pig headed stunt."

She left the grinning CSI to his work and stalked over to Donald Flack Jr., who was pushing the med techs away.

"I'm okay. I don't need ta go ta the hospital…"

"Detective, Mac wants ya ta get looked at. Ya probably need an inoculation after swimmin' in the water off these docks." The paramedic insisted in a heavy Brooklyn accent.

"I'll handle Mac…"

She stood looking at him and something she hadn't expected jumped up in her heart. He was soaking wet and pissed off. The sunlight was shining on the water in his dark hair. It reminded her of pristine snow in the early morning before the neighborhood kids got to it. It did weird things to her heart. She was having hard time breathing and when he turned and looked at her straight on his eyes pierced hers.

_There's no storm yet I hear thunder._

_And I'm breathless, why I wonder_

_Weak one moment, then the next I'm fine._

"Hey… did ya get him?" He asked, pulling his arm away from the medic.

"He's dead," Was all she could say. What was wrong with her? She should chew him out for scaring her to death, but nothing would come out.

"Ya want to explain ta him that I don't need ta go ta the hospital. It's a small cut." He pointed to his head and the gash that was bleeding all over the towel he held.

"I'm not sayin' anything. Mac's right and so are the medics. You need to get that looked at."

He gaped at the tone in her voice and she turned on her heel before he saw what she felt in her face. He was yelling after her, but she shut it out and got into the car. There were people moving around her, cops and CSIS, but she didn't see any of them. He was so stupid. He couldn't see what was right in front of him.

--

_They had been chasing the suspect on foot. They'd come out to the docks to arrest the guy for raping and killing his own daughter. He'd led them through the maze of cargo and machinery to the edge. She'd seen Don corner him and then the suspect had pulled a gun and her heart had stopped. The man wanted to kill himself, probably suicide by cop. She watched Flack trying to talk him out of it. The man had jumped off the pier and Flack had gone in after him. _

_She had just stood there in shock while Danny and Mac had clattered up behind her and jumped into the filthy waters off the pier. They had pulled them both out of the water and when Danny had pulled an unconscious Don out of the water, she nearly fainted. It took Mac and Danny forever to revive him. The suspect had died, and Flack was left with the cut to his head, but he was alive. Now she had to figure out a way to kill him for scaring her like that._

_I feel as though I'm falling every time I close my eyes._

_And flowing through my body is a river of surprise._

_Feelings are awakening I hardly recognize, as mine. _

Why are you so upset? She began to wonder. It's not like you've ever told him how you feel? That was the problem. She didn't know how she felt about him. New feelings were emerging that she didn't want to deal with. It was better to stay disconnected. You didn't get hurt that way. It was safe to be numb. She wanted to be safe more than anything else in the world.

"Get out of this car and do your job. No more hiding for you." She told herself very sternly.

She stepped out of the car and headed back over to Hawkes. He was pulling off the gloves and watching as Carmine Gennaro was loaded into the wagon for transport to the morgue.

"Hey… I don't think COD is any mystery."

"No… I guess not."

"Are you sure you're alright." He stood up and his dark eyes seemed to look right through her.

Of all of the people that she didn't want to have to hide from, it was Sheldon Hawkes. He had a way of looking right through you into your soul.

"I'm fine… I'm not sure how much longer Flack will be alive when I get through with him."

"Well… I'm going to head back to the lab. I'll let you deal with Flack."

"Thanks…" She responded dryly.

She watched the wagon drive away before going back to the car. Flack had left with the ambulance, which surprised the hell out of her. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and as fast as a comet pulled by the suns gravity at the same time. They milled around her, doing their jobs. She noticed that all of her friends from the lab were gone.

_You should be gone too; Flack would never let you live it down if he knew that you were here moping around, about him. _

That was true. She gave herself a good shake and went back to the car. It was hard to believe that it had only been four hours ago that they had screamed up to the curb with lights flashing and sirens blaring. She pulled on her seat belt on and started the car.

She would never admit it, but she loved to ride in the car with Flack. He could really drive and roaring down the street with him driving always sent her heart racing and made her palms sweat.

_What are all these new sensations? What's the secret they reveal? I'm not sure I understand, but I like the way I feel. _

It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. No… that wasn't right, it was the only time she felt truly alive. When she was in the car with Flack, everything else that was wrong in her life would go away.

She turned into traffic and rolled down her window. The noise of the cars and the blaring of horns didn't clear her head. She could still hear Flack laughing at her the first time they'd ridden in this car and he broke a score of traffic laws.

The ride back to the 74th precinct was the longest one she'd ever taken. A hundred times she almost turned around and went to the hospital, but he would only laugh at her if she did. He'd want to know why she was hanging out in the waiting room, when it was only a scratch and a lungful of water.

"_Hey Jess… Don't ya think you should be out catchin' the bad guys instead of sittin' here? I told ya I'm fine." _

His voice in her head was as close, and real, as his body had been when she pulled him out of the way the night the Cabbie Killer had dropped a dead cop in their laps. They had been moving a suspect and Flack was saying something about an old conquest.

"_Ah… he's nasty, his breath smells." Flack had exclaimed getting out of the car. "It makes prom night in the back of my father's caddy with Bianca DeFazio seem like it never happened." _

"_The back of your father's caddy," She had laughed. In reality she'd wanted to strangle little Ms DeFazio. _

"_It was either that or my Pontiac Sunbird."_

_Their suspect had rushed Flack and it all happened so fast after that. She had kicked the guy, then that cab had come out of nowhere and she'd grabbed her partner and jumped. They'd flown over the car and hit the pavement. It was painful, but the sensation of her arms around him, however brief it had been, had broken something loose inside her. _

Now it was tough to go in everyday and look him in the eyes without blushing. Somehow she got through all the days of "harmless" flirting. Was it harmless though? Was there any way he liked her at all. Well apart from the closeness all partners had.

She pulled up to the precinct and parked the car. Flack would have to find his own way back to their office. She had paperwork up to her neck. She was going to do it and go home.

_Why is that every time I close my eyes he's there? The water shining on his skin, the sunlight in his hair. And all the while I'm feeling things that I can never share, with him._

The paperwork on her desk was piled higher than she realized, but that was okay. It would keep her occupied. She flexed her fingers and dove in.

A hand touched her arm a few hours later. She looked up and into those amazing eyes. He was smiling - no-he was smirking at her. Her heart raced at the feel of his fingers on her hand. To her utter surprise and horror, she was unable to speak when he said.

"Hey Jess… Don't ya have enough sense ta go home? It's after midnight and I gotta hell of a headache."

"So what… you want sympathy from me. You're the one that had to jump in the river after him."

His eyebrows climbed into his bangs. "Why are ya so mad at me?" He sounded genuinely perplexed and this only made her angrier.

"Yeah… I suppose the dip in the river only warrants a bandage," She pointed at his head. "And a round of inoculations," She jabbed a finger at his chest.

"Hey… I was doin' my job." "I know… just like you do everyday with no regard for your safety."

She knew that she should stop, shut her mouth and go home before he caught on to the real reason for her blowing up at him, but she couldn't make her mouth close.

"I'm a cop. I've done pretty good so far."

She swallowed hard at the angry and confused look on his face. Something broke inside her throat and tears threatened.

"You're right… I'm very sorry for showing concern for my partner. I'll see you tomorrow."

The storm that had threatened all day broke with violence as she stepped around him and headed for the door. The rain pounded so hard on the street and the roof of the building, she wouldn't have heard it if he'd called out to her. He didn't call after her and she didn't blame him. Her face burned with embarrassment at her behavior. How could she go back to work in the morning, and face him after this?

--

Her clock struck two am… She sat on the couch in front of a television that was playing a stupid infomercial. Someone was trying to sell the latest in abdominal workout machines. She watched it was though in a trance. Her head fell forward with a snap, and sleep came after hours of trying to shut down a mind that wouldn't be still.

A knock startled her awake and her heart leapt into her throat. She picked up her gun from the side table and went to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me…"

Her heart leapt again in shock and underlying happiness. But she couldn't let him in. He was there to tease her or pry her distress out of her.

_I'm a bundle of confusion, yet it has a strange appeal._

_Did it all begin with him and the way he makes me feel?_

Her hands unlocked the door and let him in before her brain had time to tell them no. He stood there looking at her like something had just occurred to him for the first time.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep…"

"Neither could I," Her voice trembled.

"I've been thinking and I just wondered…"

"I'm sorry… I was wrong to jump down your throat. You were doing your job… Let's just chalk it up to…"

He stepped forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Let me finish… Let's just forget today."

"Flack…"

"Don… if ya don't mind," He said just before capturing her lips in his.

"But I don't think-"

"Don't think… I think too much, and that's why I ain't got no one."

"Don…"

"Let me in… I just want ta talk. You can throw me out if ya don't like what I got ta say."

"Ok…"

She let him in. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't a fairytale. It was a beginning and life was full of beginnings!

_I like the way he makes me feel._


	3. Something happened on the way to Heaven

A/n hey all… I'm very sorry for the wait on this "melody," I confess to severe writer's block and hope to update more regularly from now on. Thanks for your reviews and support.

Disclaimer: See my profile

**Something happened on the way to Heaven.**

**Phil Collins**

_**We had a life, we had a love, But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it Well that was then and this is now And I want you back How many times can I say I'm sorry (how many times)Yes I'm sorry**_

The early morning air was clear of all the pollution, and smells that existed twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in Manhattan. Even the smell of the ocean that had been so prominent the day before, was gone, blown out to sea with the storm last night.

He stepped away from the open window of his bedroom and looked at the bed behind him. She was gone, disappearing with the coming of the dawn. His shoulders moved up by themselves as though they wanted to convince him that he really didn't know why she left. Somehow, it hadn't got through to his brain that the night before had been a slip for her. Or better, that she would see it as a slip, a momentary loss of control over her body.

The rain had driven her to him after he'd called her and after Rikki had come by to say she was moving. The relief in that knowledge had been so great he got a little light headed. If Rikki left, then he could have a chance to get back what he'd had with Lindsay.

He sat on the edge of the bed and deeply inhaled the scent of sex lingering in the air. And there in the mix of incoming freshness, was the last vestige of her on the air. She didn't wear perfume, said it interfered with the job. Instead she smelled clean, of good soap and water, of the ocean when the wind was just right, and of the city in her hair. It was a smell he'd learned to do without in the last weeks. The part of him that was unwilling to take responsibility for his actions blamed her for its loss. The other part that knew better put blame where it belonged, with him.

She had shown up on his doorstep after she'd told him she needed more time. It had surprised him almost as much as the surprise on her face.

_**How can something so good go so bad How can something so right go so wrong But I don't know, I don't have all the answers But I want you back How many times can I say I'm sorry (how many times)Well you know..**_

_**.**__He opened the door at the knock, thinking it was Rikki come back to change her mind. He was readying himself to just tell her that it was over, that he loved Lindsay, that he would do anything to fix it with her._

_Instead, he opened the door to Lindsay._

"_Hi…" She smiled up at him._

_The smile was uncertain, like he recognized from a tough puzzle in the lab. It brought little tingles of happiness from its familiarity, and tingles of sorrow because it had been missing from her face for so long when she looked at him. _

_She was soaked to the bone and when a shiver shuddered through her little body, he stepped back to let her in. He resisted the urge to fold her into his arms and give her his warmth. _

"_Hey Linds… Um… do ya want a towel?" Well that was a very stupid question. Of course she wanted to dry off. "Yeah… listen that was really stupid…"_

"_It's okay Danny, I know where the bathroom is, remember?"_

_Yeah… he remembered very well the last time she'd been in his bathroom. In fact it was the shower and he had… Okay… don't go there!_

_She was looking at him strangely, and he cleared his throat. "Yeah… Um… okay, there are towels in the cabinet."_

_She left him standing there trying to believe in the luck that had befallen him. Why was she there? What did she want? Then he remembered something he'd been meaning to give back to her and went to his room to retrieve it. _

_He knocked on the door and her voice drifted out to him. "Yeah…"_

"_I got something for ya ta wear."_

"_Come in," She said. _

_**You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving less you come with me We've had our problems but I'm on your side You're all I need, please believe in me**_

_Her hair was mussed from the rain and from scrubbing at it with the other towel she held. She was looking at him with a very strange look that he didn't recognize. One of her hands extended for the pink tank and the grey sweats he held, that she'd left at his place and forgotten about. _

"_Thanks…" She said with a shy look. _

"_I'll just let you get dressed." He left despite his body screaming for her._

_He paced the living room waiting for her to emerge. She had once said that she loved him and had to forget him. He had stayed silent at that admittance, but now he nearly burst with the need to tell her that he didn't want her to stop loving him. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her. He wanted to confess to her everything and go down on his knees if he had to for her forgiveness. _

_**I only wanted someone to love But something happened on the way to heaven It got a hold of me and wouldn't let go And I want you back How many times can I say I'm sorry (how many times) Oh yes I'm sorry (sorry)Well you know...**_

_He passed the pool table and it called out to him, just like it had for the last weeks. Memories of a most unforgettable night invaded his brain even though he didn't want to think about it now that she was there. Why couldn't he just stop thinking about things that were over? He should give her an umbrella and cab fare… Wait… there was a killer on the loose. _

"_Danny…"_

_He realized that he'd been pushing the eight ball back and forth over the table. It slipped from his fingers and clicked against the red solid two. _

"_Ah yeah… Is everything okay? Is it warm enough in here? You know I can turn up the heat a little if you're cold, or there's coffee…"_

_He was making a gallant effort not to look at Lindsay. He remembered the way that pink tank top clung to her body. The apartment suddenly seemed very small._

"_I can take your clothes down ta the laundry room and they should be ready for ya ta get home. I can drive ya since -"_

"_Danny… I'm fine. I'm dry and it's not cold in here. You said you wanted to talk so let's talk."_

_She went around to the chocolate brown leather couch and sat down. Danny stood by the pool table. She sounded so different from just a few minutes ago on the phone. What had changed?_

"_Are you going to sit down?"_

"_Yeah…"_

_He went to join her and she smiled at him again. "I didn't think I'd come here. I'm not sure why I did." She did look confused and it was very cute on her face_

"_I didn't mean ta pressure ya."_

"_I know you didn't, I guess I just wanted to show myself I could come here and be okay."_

_His heart sank. She was talking to him just like she had before he'd gone to Montana to be there for her. _

"_You see…" She continued, as though he wasn't there. "I realized that we can be friends. I really want us to be friends."_

_He couldn't speak. He was actually getting the same brush off he'd gotten from any number of women he'd known since he was fifteen. _

"_Lindsay, I'm sorry for how distant I've been. I really want ta try and work things out for us. I love ya."_

_**You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving less you come with me We've had our problems but I'm on your side You're all I need, please believe me You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving 'til it's all over We've had our problems but I'm on your side You're all I need, let me show you**_

_She eyed him steadily and he realized that hadn't been the right thing to say in that moment. She didn't want to hear it… he could see it in her eyes._

"_Danny… I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea by coming here. I really think that it's better for us to remain friends. We can still rent movies, or go to Cozy's, or go to -"_

"_Ya mean friends without fringe benefits," He snapped._

"_Don't get angry with me Danny Messer. You're the one that pulled away from me. All you had to do was let me help you." She didn't shout and somehow that was worse. _

"_I didn't know how… I'm sorry for everything." He slid over to her and kissed her before she could move. _

_The heat of his lips on hers made her dizzy and she felt like she was falling into a place that was foreign territory. _

_She pushed him away and avoided his steamy eyes. "Don't do that," She whispered. _

"_I can't just let ya come in here and say there's no chance for anythin' but friendship. I'm so sorry for everythin', I can't let ya just give up on us. I don't want to give up. Please Lindsay… Let me try ta make it up ta you." _

_**They say you can't take it with you When you go And I believe it But taking what I've got or being here with you, you know I'd, I'd rather leave it**_

_He kissed her, so she tried to push him away till his hands went to her sweat pants and pulled up her tanks. His thumbs stroked both her nipples till they ached. _

"_Danny… I didn't come over here for this."_

"_Then go… Take the umbrella by the door and leave. I won't stop ya."_

_She responded by climbing into his lap. He opened his mouth for her questing tongue. Her lips still felt like warm satin on his. She rocked against his hardening arousal. He was moaning and she was smiling. The rain outside pounded on the fire escape and lightning lit up the room. _

_His hands explored her bare torso after she pulled off the tank and tossed it across the room. Her breasts were heaving with every intake of breath, and although a small part of his brain tried to tell him that this was a very bad idea, he ignored it and went back to taking off the grey sweat pants she'd just put on only minutes ago. His hands moved down her sides and pushed the sweat pants down. She got up and slipped them off with a coy smile. _

"_I missed ya so much Linds… I need you… I'm sorry I didn't realize how much I did until tonight."_

"_I missed you to Danny." _

_**We had a life, we had a love, But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it Well that was then and this is now And I want you backHow many times can I say I'm sorry (how many times)Oh yes I'm sorry (sorry sorry)Well you know...**_

_She helped him out of his jeans and briefs, freeing that part of him that wanted to make her scream his name. It could be just like the old times, he knew it could. _

_Lindsay had other plans though. She straddled his legs and engulfed him in warm wetness that almost drove him over the edge. He held on gritting his teeth till they almost cracked. Lindsay rode him. She was the one that made him scream at the end. She was silent only betraying her pleasure by letting go of his shoulders and collapsing against him with a sigh. _

"_Lindsay…"_

"_Please don't say anything." She whispered breathlessly in his ear. "I just want to pretend that this is real."_

"_It's real… How can I convince ya?" _

_He thought in the low light of the room that she was crying, but then he looked again and her face was dry. It might have been a reflection of the water sliding down the window from the rain. _

"_I love ya Lindsay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before now. I love ya."_

"_I know," She said. _

"_Don't go," He pleaded, feeling the beat of her heart slowing in time with his._

"_I won't," She said._

_He took her to his bed and they made love again before he fell asleep. Dreams and nightmares battled for his attention. In every one, she was leaving him again, and in every one she never came back. Then he woke up and she was gone._

_**You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving less you come with me we've had our problems but I'm on your sideyou're all I need, please believe me**_

He reached over to the night table in the early morning light, after snapping out of the memory of the night before, and read the note she left.

Danny,

I'm sorry! It was a mistake… I just wanted to talk. I wanted to give you the chance to tell me why you couldn't trust me to help you through Ruben's death. Sex with you wasn't in the plan. I'm sorry if I gave you false hope. I just can't do this anymore. I can't hurt like this anymore.

Don't call me Danny! Don't come to see me! I have to learn to live without you. Please respect my decision. I'm so sorry.

Lindsay.

He dropped the note on the hardwood floor and sat looking at it till the sunlight was right in his face. The cool morning was over and the noise of the city grated on his nerves as it never had.

A tear hit his hand and he jerked in surprise. He hadn't cried since Louie had sacrificed himself for Danny and since Aiden had died. He didn't cry because it wasn't something that he did. He certainly didn't cry over any woman. Another tear hit his pajama leg, and another one hit the floor and made a dark circle.

All of his promises to Lindsay to be truthful had been a lie. If he wanted to fix things he should have told her the truth instead of leaving out the part about sleeping with Rikki. He should have told her. She would have left before their personal fireworks, but at least she would be mad, not giving up.

He pulled out his phone… She said not to call her, but there was no way he was going to let her push him away again, not this time. It didn't matter if it killed him… He was going to make it right. He could fix it, there had to be a way, even if it took the rest of his days. He was going to fix it.

_**You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving 'til it's all over We've had our problems but I'm on your side You're all I need, please believe in me**_


	4. The very thought of you!

_**A/n hey all... This is the last Manhattan Melody. I'm so thankful for all of your support and feedback. The muse has lost interest in these one shots so I'm going to end them with this one. Maybe when the new season begins she'll inspire me again. Again thank you all for reading and you wonderful reviews. Also a big thanks to my wonderful beta REIDFANATIC for her help and encouragement.**_

**_The very thought of you!_**

**_Nat King Cole_**

_**The very thought of you and I forget to do  
the little ordinary things that everyone ought to do  
I'm living in a kind of daydream  
I'm happy as a king  
and foolish though it may seem  
to me that's everything**_

One foot in front of the other, it was his mantra that early morning, one foot in front of the other. It was the only way to slow down his brain. Ever since the first day she walked through the door of the lab and smiled, he was lost.

The night he ran in was waning away into purple skies and dim stars. The moon was directly in front of him, peeping through the storm clouds that were breaking up, and the buildings that marched in a line down Lexington.

The air moving around his body as he ran was cool on this early September morning. The streets were wet from the rain that had swept through that afternoon. His shoes made squeaking noises on the pavement as they hit the wet concrete. His ears wanted to hear the sounds of the city and let it drown out the voices and memories that wouldn't leave his brain. It was useless he knew, to try and shut them out. He'd been trying for months now without success.

He stopped and jogged in place at the light at 59th. Only two cabs and three delivery trucks crossed through the intersection. He missed getting hit by the spray from the wheels of the UPS truck by inches, but he could smell the water as it arched up and fell in the early morning dark. It was glowing red in the backlight of the trucks brake light, and he flinched. It was one more thing to remind him of the job he did with her.

He sighed in frustration and crossed the street to the other side where he stepped up the pace again. The street was deserted, which was why he ran at this time of the night, or morning, or quasi night as he liked to call it. He didn't have to worry about talking to anyone. He didn't want to talk anyway. If he talked he might let slip what he had to hide every time she walked into the lab, smelling like soap.

She didn't wear perfume. She said that is interfered with the job. He liked that she smelled clean, especially her hair. He liked everything about her. She was funny, and sweet and kind. He liked that she was so tiny in size. It brought out a certain protective side to his nature that he hadn't felt since his beloved Alice had died when they were in college.

He turned the next corner so he didn't have to stop at the light. He was running very fast now and his breath plumed out into the darkness in puffs of white that caught on the wind and flew away. The light was getting a bit brighter and there were more people on the street. He should keep track of time and start back for home, but he couldn't go back to that empty apartment just yet.

The wind was picking up again, and it would have chilled him had he not been running and thinking, and wishing for anything other than this pain in his heart. It would have chilled him had he not already been chilled to bone by the knowledge that she would always love Danny Messer.

The thought of Danny made him remember how he'd slipped up and called her "Montana," as though he had the right to poach a nickname. Lindsay hadn't cared; in fact she'd said it was nice to hear it again.

His breathing got more labored with each step he took, as more memories flooded his brain against his will. The one that he remembered the most was Lindsay eating insects after one strange case. He'd been the first to back away and refuse the offer of the exotic cuisine, but she'd dug right in so to speak. It was disgusting and endearing at the same time.

Lindsay always knew when he was out of coffee and needed more to keep going on a long shift. She'd go to the break room and bring back two cups if they were working together. She managed to do her job with total concentration and yet she always knew when he needed caffeine. He wondered, as he turned another corner, if she'd done the same thing for Danny.

Then she'd left for Montana without telling Danny goodbye. She'd left him a note to give to Danny. She had written it down for his friend, but she had said goodbye in person to him. He'd been foolish enough to think that maybe she'd gotten tired of Danny and wanted him. It was a stupid wish as it turned out. She came back and he saw that they got closer.

Then she started coming to him and talking to him about Danny. Oh... There was nothing private revealed, but they did talk about him. It was like he'd become her best friend without knowing it and he didn't want it to be that way. She'd loved Danny, and he couldn't bear to do anything that would destroy his friendship with her.

Something had happened to them after Reuben Sandoval died and now Lindsay didn't talk about him anymore. Danny had messed it up somehow. He didn't say anything to either of his friends. It was none of his business. But if the opportunity did arise, he was going to take advantage of it. If Danny was stupid enough to let her go, he was going to take the opportunity to…

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear the voice till it said. "Hey Hawkes… what are you doing out here so early."

He kept his cool and didn't trip at the sound of her voice. This was an old fantasy he'd had of running in the night and meeting up with her.

He stopped and turned to see that she was dress in a grey sweat shirt and dark blue sweat pants. Her shoes were old and dirty white, and she was smiling like he hadn't seen in a long time.

"I could ask you the same thing." He retorted and put his hands in the pockets of his hooded sweat shirt so she wouldn't see the way they shook.

"I just got finished with the Salvatore murder case. Trenton's going down for that little loss of temper." She told him with a wink and a grin.

"I'm glad," He replied and he was. It was good to see her smile again.

"Yeah… I was going to run and then I saw you. You want to go into Gina's and get coffee, or early breakfast." She said hopefully, going a bit pink in the cheeks.

"Sure," He answered.

She smiled again and her eyes lit up like stars. He smiled back and she led the way down the street. Opportunity was knocking and he was going to open the door.

_**The mere idea of you, the longing here for you  
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you  
I see your face in every flower  
Your eyes in stars above  
It's just the thought of you  
The very thought of you, my love  
**_


End file.
